


Dull Fangs

by polyphaga



Category: Metal Gear
Genre: Canon Compliant, M/M, Porn with Feelings, Post-TPP, babby's first smut, eventually, i think, idk idk idk, vkaz hell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-23
Updated: 2016-01-30
Packaged: 2018-05-08 15:14:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5502479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/polyphaga/pseuds/polyphaga
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Not for revenge, but for the future. A series of scenes between the two men who built Outer Heaven, even knowing it was a facade.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

One week. Eight days ago, Kaz had been missing in Afghanistan, chained by his remaining arm to a pipe and on the edge of death, and yet Ocelot had reported to Snake this morning that Kaz was already taking paperwork from his hospital bed, trying to hobble around on one leg and a crutch, asking when he’d be able to rest what was left of the other in a prosthetic so he could get around the rest of the base. 

“I mean, it’s great to have him back on the paperwork but… Boss, maybe you should go tell him to calm down. He’s still on some fairly heavy painkillers and antibiotics, he needs to rest and let his wounds heal before trying to run around like an idiot.”

Snake found himself sighing upon recalling Ocelot’s warning. He was leaned back against the wall in his quarters, closing his eyes and trying to gather his thoughts before going to see Kaz. He’d sat next to him in the hospital room that first night, holding Kaz’s one remaining hand with his own to keep him grounded while his mind was hazed over from the pain, the anaesthesia, the trauma. But after that, he’d limited himself just to popping in. Snake told himself that it was to give Kaz the time he needed to recover, to not overwhelm him with attention or offend him with what Kaz would take as pity. More than that, though, he felt at a loss for what to do, what to say.

His eyes snap open as he hears the handle of his door start to work, turning slowly as if someone with their hands full is trying to open the door. He moves to pull the door open himself before the latch goes and a familiar hand clutching awkwardly to a metal crutch pushes the door aside. 

“Kaz? You shouldn’t…”

Kaz smiles defiantly, or maybe winces, probably both, as he walks into the room and awkwardly perches on the edge of his boss’ desk.

“Don’t worry, I just told the nurse on duty I still had the authority to fire him if he didn’t take a break on my orders.”

He’s trying to look put together, sat there in greenish gray sweatpants and a worn out white t-shirt, pale, lightly covered in sweat, swaying gently like a leaf in the breeze. Even from across the room Snake can tell he should be in bed, probably sleeping, but turning him around when he’s come all the way here seems cruel.

“Fine. I was just about to come talk to you anyways, Kaz.”

“Mmhm. What do you need, Boss?”

“Kaz,” Snake repeats the man’s name, a bit more severely this time. “I need you to take care of yourself and get better before you try asking me that again.”

Kaz pauses, grunting as he slides off the edge of the desk and uneasily catches himself, shakily holding himself upright on the crutch. “Come on Boss, I can’t… I can’t be left alone with my own thoughts feeling useless all day anymore. You have to let me do something.”

“I’ll get you a desk in there, some things to do, but really--”

“Are you avoiding me?” Kaz forces the question, blunt enough to cut Venom off. He limps his way across the room until he’s standing directly in front of Snake, leaning in slightly. Behind the dark lenses Snake can vaguely make out Kaz’s eyes, searching his face. “If it’s because it’s been nine years, or because now I’m… like this...” He sighs, lowering his eyes for a moment before going on. “Whatever. You can just tell me to fuck off, but…”

“What are you talking about?”

Kaz leans his his shoulder into Snake’s so that he can lift his hand away from the crutch without losing his balance, but winces at the pressure on his stitches. He runs it down the side of Venom’s face, trembling gently. The way he says it makes it sound like he’s desperately holding himself together, on the verge of shattering: “Snake, you know what I want.”

He doesn’t, or at least, Venom takes a few more seconds to figure it out than the real Big Boss would have. When it clicks, and he gives in, caressing his XO’s face back and going in for a kiss, he thinks that he’s wanted to do this since they were in the chopper together. Maybe before. Kaz knits his brow trying to hold back but his mouth opens to a moan, a sigh of relief all in one. His hand drops to tug at Venom’s shirt, trying to steer him towards the bed. Snake wraps his other arm around his waist and guides him there, sitting him down and standing between his spread knees. 

“You’ll uh, be alright?” Venom lightly touches the exposed gauze at his shoulder, tinted with a slight, light brown discharge. 

“Please, don’t treat me like I’m fragile,” Kaz responds with a bit of an unamused pout, grabbing Snake’s forearm as he lowers himself onto his back. Venom nods, pressing his full body into the man beneath him, burying his face into Kaz’s neck and earning another moan.

 

Five minutes later, after desperately kicking off his sweatpants, feeling Snake gently pull off his sunglasses, folding them carefully and placing them on the bedside table before being pinned to the bed by the intoxicating weight of his hips, Kaz is thinking: we never fucked like this before, face to face, in bed, flush against each other. Any further coherent thought flickers off when Snake presses into him again, long and slow, kissing him hungrily and running his good hand down his side, slipping it between their bodies to fumble with Kaz’s cock, palming it and running his hand up and down it a few times while gradually lowering his cybernetic hand down to Kaz’s hip. 

After a few moments he rolls them over gently, cupping Kaz’s thigh so the stitches on his knee don’t rub against the bed. Kaz groans softly as the gravity pushes him further down onto Snake, who’s looking up at him attentively, waiting for the go-ahead to continue. Under that single blue-green (green?) eye, he suddenly feels self-conscious, overexposed. The gauze wrapped around the places where his missing limbs used to be seems to stick out more harshly now, there wasn’t the time or space to think about them when he was practically being crushed by Snake’s weight and intensity. Frowning, Kaz begins to curl into himself, trying to lean back down against Venom’s chest, but the man’s arm, reaching up to run down the center of his chest, stops him.

“After all this time, you’re still so handsome.”

Kaz can only manage a bitter chuckle for a few seconds. “...Boss. Come on, you’re being weird.”

“Sorry, it just feels like I’ve been waiting for this forever.” Snake reaches up to hook his arm around Kaz’s neck, pulling him into a kiss and twining his fingers through his hair. He feels Kaz smirk against his mouth, pulling back a few inches.

“Nine years,” he murmurs, still so close that Venom can feel the man’s breath on his lips. “Lucky you were asleep for most of it though.” Snake gives him a faint smile, an earnest “sorry” before closing the space between them again, but not before a twinge in the back of his mind says:

_ No, longer. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First chapter woo... ahahaha....
> 
> -I've never written sex before besides purposely bad sex for a short story in undergrad. idk. could you even tell they were fucking  
> -Each chapter will be a sort of vignette from a different stage in Venom n Kaz's working relationship, earliest being early PW era, going up until MG1  
> -I tried my best to make it canon compliant but MGS lore is fucking hard so forgive me if I fuck up  
> -The title is from a rlly good Hella song that makes me think of These Boys: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QYiOa7EPjB4  
> -If you wanna Chill and Cry about Vkaz my tumlr is: http://coleoptera-kinbote.tumblr.com/
> 
> THANKS FOR READ B)


	2. Chapter 2

Kaz is a powerhouse. Though the type and tempo of energy he gives off has changed since the MSF days, Venom Snake still feels his chest burning with pride when he sees his XO at work, even if he’s still huffing over one of their more intense disagreements. The way his brain works, massaging resources and troops into a system of efficiency Snake never could have predicted, remains as meticulous as his handwriting (thanks to his natural ambidexterity). 

He’s not sure if Kaz is really that absorbed in his work or just pointedly ignoring him as he leans on the doorway to his office, so Snake just watches him make his way down some sort of form for a few minutes, and catches his eye when Kaz flips the paper over into the outgoing pile, leaning back to stretch. Kaz’s face contorts in slight surprise when their eyes meet, he looks down at what Snake is holding in one of his hands and grunts, defensively returning to the next sheet of paper without a word. 

“Kaz.” Snake says firmly.

“Busy, boss.” Kaz doesn’t even bother looking up.

“Quit fooling around.” V can’t help but notice that Kaz’s pen, usually flying, gradually stills as he approaches the man’s desk and places the small gift he was holding next to his hand. Kaz steals a glance at it but quickly returns to staring ahead, refusing to acknowledge Snake standing over his shoulder.

“Medicinal plants can go straight to the medical platform, Boss.”

Snake lets out an amused chuckle at that. “Idiot, come on. They’re for you.”

“Fine.” Miller swivels in his chair, picking up one of the bunch of purple foxgloves, glaring up at Snake’s slight mischievous grin and pinching the stem between his fingers. “Did you bring a vase for them? Some water?” Some of his barbs must have hit home as Snake’s smile faltered at this.

“No, uh… I just thought they looked nice, Kaz.” Venom picked a few up himself, trying to disperse them artfully between the pens and pencils in a cup on the edge of the desk. “See, it’s like that ikebana stuff, they don’t put them all together in a vase, they kind of have them…”

“Snake.”

“What?”

“It’s not like that, like, at all.” Kaz had been trying to give him the cold shoulder, but he couldn’t suppress a small smile at this attempt to get back on his good side. He plucks the stems from the cup and lays them back on the desk, arranging the bundle of foxgloves so it looks more like a bouquet, then resting his hand so that the side of it brushed against Snake’s. “...But thanks anyway.”

“So, you’ll talk to me now?”

Kaz slides his glasses off and grinds the heel of his palm between his eyes for a few moments before sighing, and getting out of his chair to walk over to the small electric kettle and coffee pot he always keeps close at hand in his office. “Fine, sure. Coffee first, though.” He reaches for a bag of grounds in the cabinet, balancing without his crutch for a few moments as he prepares the coffee pot. “You want a cup?”

“It’s Columbian?”

“Of course.”

“Then I’d love one.” Venom Snake leans in to wrap a possessive arm around Kaz’s hips as he prepares the coffee, a routine he had quickly gotten down pat with only one arm. Kaz scoffs a bit at the affection but doesn’t bother pulling away. Snake watches him for a few minutes, waits until the water’s already in the pot before continuing. “...Even though it’s about five times more expensive per pound than what the general staff gets.”

Kaz is carefully fitting the lid on the brimming full pot as Venom says this, and jumps, almost spilling the near-boiling liquid all over himself. His face is a mixture of shock and annoyance, with a slight flush. 

“Sorry… It’s…”

“Kaz, it’s fine. I don’t care if it’s something that helps you keep at it.” He makes sure to meet Kaz’s eyes for a moment, even though they’d both been avoiding it since the argument. “A bit extra is worth it to me in that case.”

“Well, fine.” Kaz presses the pot’s plunger down in silence and pours two cups of coffee, practically shoving one into Snake’s hands. Both men sit on the edge of the desk so they have a clear view out the window, into a wide view of ocean, so there’s something else to look at besides each other. After they each take a few sips Snake goes on.

“Do you understand what I’m trying to say?”

“That I’ve got rich tastes? Because I've heard it before, especially from you...”

“No, I’m saying… Kaz, even if I don’t take your advice in every instance that doesn’t mean I don’t value what you do here.”

Kaz sets his coffee cup down, harder than needed, sending a bit sloshing over the sides. 

“Boss, first that woman, and now… him. I understand they have some use but… all I can think about is what this looks like to the men and women out there, you know, who lost friends to the Skulls, or to the attack on MSF.” He pauses a moment, making sure his voice doesn’t shake. “Showing them mercy… doesn’t that seem like an affront to them?”

“I know. And I know that goes double for you.”

“So why let them stay?”

“If it was as easy as just killing them I would have made that call. We’re building something here, it can’t be as simple as us against everyone else, understand?”

Kaz only sulks, sipping his coffee and staring out over the ocean. When he gets to the bottom of the cup, he finally knows what he wants to say.

“Boss?”

“Yeah?”

“If I disagree with you, you know I’ll always fight you on it as hard as I can but… When it comes down to it, whatever decision you make,” He sighs, putting the coffee cup down, softly this time. “I have to trust you. For the sake of all of this.”

Venom throws an arm around Kaz’s shoulder, giving it a warm squeeze and leaning in to press his lips to his temple, murmuring “thank you” against his skin. Kaz feels his body relax by the tiniest degree, like a taut spring uncoiling. He leans slightly into his boss’ shoulder, something he never would have done in the MSF days. Back then, Snake seemed to respond to the vulnerability he was willing to offer by going aloof or pissed off. Now, maybe, there was more distance from what had been troubling him. 

“Good coffee,” Snake says, finishing his own mug a few minutes later. “I guess the extra cash really does make a difference.”

Kaz had been gradually relaxing, letting his whole body lean against Snake’s, feeling his intense natural body heat, but it seemed his face could still get warmer. He blushes.

“I said I was sorry! You’ve never checked the ledgers THAT carefully before.”

“I told you it was fine, Kaz…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *pounds fists on table* WHY CAN'T I GIVE FLOWERS TO KAZ! WHY CAN'T I GIVE FLOWERS TO KAZ!
> 
> When I saw Mother Base was free-roaming rather than just a stats screen I was sure there'd be some sort of way to interact and give items to your favorite staff members, maybe even a Harvest Moon style wooing system where they all have different likes and dislikes? God. No such luck. SO THIS IS A PEEK AT WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN....
> 
> THANKS FOR READIN B>


	3. Chapter 3

“We’re all grateful, boss.”

He says it, even though, probably, everyone is just grateful it wasn’t them. Could have been anyone, even Snake. A random mutation, a sudden outbreak, Kaz tries to tell himself these sort of things can’t be predicted, that they did what they could, even though his obsessively analytical mind wants to reject that conclusion outright. Snake doesn’t respond, only watching the caskets burn. V is feeling detached, floating a few inches behind his own skull, staring into the undifferentiated glow of the flames. 

He remembers bursting out of the containment zone into another hazmat area, being stripped of his gear by a bunch of anonymous technicians in full body suits, rushed through cold blasts of disinfectant and double, triple checked for infection before being able to break away and head to the control room. Code Talker, Ocelot, Kaz, and even Emmerich, for some reason, had all watched the chaos that unfolded in the quarantine wing from this soundproofed room, full of monitors and broadcasting equipment, but none of them had remained there. He started to feel incredibly alone, like there was a transparent barrier between him and the rest of the world, a bubble that muffled and blurred everything outside. Making his way through what felt like random hallways, he found himself at the door to Kaz’s office. Tried the handle. Locked. Unable to think of anywhere else it made sense to go he found his way to the mess hall, unusually somber and quiet even though it was a good time for a late dinner. The regular sounds of running water, clattering plates and oven timers could still be heard from the kitchen, the base necessities of life tick on, and Venom found himself zoning into the comforting rhythm of those sounds as he mechanically ate the food that ended up in front of him, choked down the weak, gritty coffee. Another blur of struts and hallways. He found himself in bed, and when he closed his eyes it was like everything around him turned off. He didn’t dream. 

Seeing Kaz the next day during the cremation of the fallen Diamond Dogs is the first time he’d seen him since they had met to discuss the hastily prepared containment zone, when Kaz had grabbed his unfeeling arm, begging him not to go, knowing he would have to anyways. It’s not the best look for the meticulous XO to wander off halfway through the cremation, but there’s also the funeral to attend tomorrow, and the paperwork from the incident as well as the new reports from Code Talker about the mutation are probably an obscene amount of information to shuffle through. Venom, on the other hand, watches until the flames die down and the ashes are collected into urns for the ceremony, time slipping by like water.

Later, he finds himself in front of Kaz’s office again, door still locked, but this time a sliver of light from under the door is leaking into the dim hallway. Knocks once, again firmly when there’s a gentle rustling on the other side of the door. 

“What?” Kaz’s voice is low, accompanied by a soft sigh.

“Kaz, it’s me.”

The door slides open a crack, and Kaz is there, hunched over and not even bothering with his usual sunglasses, so it’s easy to see that his eyes are puffy with deep bags under them. He still tries to pull a small smile, and gestures for Snake to enter.

“Boss, come on in.”

Kaz’s desk is a mess of papers, a single bottle open on one end, the stack where he usually puts his completed work unusually small. 

“If you’re busy I can uh… keep it short but--”

“It’s fine, it’s fine.” Kaz groans a bit, leaning against his desk. “I’m not… I’m really not in the right frame of mind to work.” He gestures at the desk, clearing his throat. “Obviously I’ve hardly gotten anything done, haha.” He clears his throat again, which quickly develops into a barrage of coughing. 

Venom instinctively reaches forward to steady the man’s shoulder as he lifts his only hand to cover his mouth. 

“Maybe you should rest instead of forcing yourself to keep going then.”

“Bullshit,” Kaz manages between coughs. “I should be the one… saying that to you.” As the coughing subsides he takes a moment to pull his boss’ hand from his shoulder, a gesture saying “I’m fine,” but still holds on to it as he tries to blink back tears gathering in the corners of his eyes. “It’s just from being around the smoke all morning.” He feels Venom’s hand squeeze around his a bit more firmly.

“Kaz, you’re shaking.”

“Yeah well, you look the picture of health too,” Kaz responds, a touch of annoyance in his tone. He pauses a moment before letting go of Snakes hand, gently setting it aside as he pushes himself back onto his feet and makes his way towards the desk chair. “Go get some sleep or something, boss.”

“Kaz--” Venom instinctively lunges forward, his hand wrapping around the other man’s wrist this time, rougher than he intended.

“What! What is it Snake?” Kaz turns around, trying to knock Venom’s arm away, trying to sound angry if only to cover how choked his voice was getting.

“We lost a lot of good men.”

“You think I’m not fucking aware of that?”

“I’m saying it’s okay to be upset, alright? You don’t have to go right back to work like nothing happened.”

“Upset? Of course I’m upset, upset at myself. All I can think about is how we should have done more research on the wolbachia vaccines, how the quarantine zone should have had better equipment, how I shouldn’t have sent in those men until I was sure…” Kaz practically doubles over, trying to force back a sob. “After we lost mother base I swore I’d never let something like this happen again, but when I was watching everything that happened in there… Snake, the XOF raid, it just kept coming back--”

Venom cuts him off, roughly pulling Kaz into his chest. Kaz’s still-gloved hand clutches against Snake’s fatigues as he releases a mucousy cough that finally gave way to shuddering sobs. Snake isn’t sure what to do, aside from holding him up. Despite everything, this is the first time he’s seen Kaz truly cry. It jolts him out of the strange numbness he was worried had become his new normal. 

“Listen to me, you did everything you could. You can’t keep thinking about the past like that.”

“Why not? It just keeps fucking happening, and I can’t stop it.” Kaz’s hand curls into a fist, and he pounds it against Venom’s chest. “I’m worthless at this, I’m fucking worthless!” 

Venom turns Kaz slightly, pushing his back against the wall. He cups Kaz’s face in his hands, same as he did back then, when it was the first tender touch he’d felt in months. But this time his voice is almost stony, threatening.

“Kaz, don’t.”

“It’s fine,” He spits back, defiant in his self-loathing. “You can say it. You’ve avoided mentioning it all along. But I’m no use like this, right? Even when I was whole I fucked up enough times to be a liability… Just--”

He’s surprised by the delicate gasp that is forced out of him as Snake fulcrums against him with his hips, hard. Shushes him firmly, pressing a cool metal thumb across his chapped lips. Out of resignation and exhaustion, Kaz feels his face relax, parting his lips slightly and exhaling steadily, the last few tears running tracks down the side of his flushed face. Snake glances down on the gently parted lips, and dips into him, kissing and tentatively rubbing their tongues together, working moans out of Kaz almost instantly. His boss still smells like smoke and fire, and gives off heat like a furnace. He clasps his arm around the thick shoulders, allowing himself to be lifted slightly as Snake lowers his hands, begins unbuttoning and unbuckling with an urgency uncharacteristic as of late.

“Ah, Boss, wait--”

“What?”

Kaz tightens his grip on Snake’s shoulders, digging his fingers in so that he can press their foreheads together.

“Do you need me? Or do you just need… this?”

“Kaz--”

“Please.”

Venom has to swallow back nerves to say it, heart pounding, wishing in the moment that this idiot could just take a hint, but when he finally sighs it into the crook of Kaz’s neck, it comes out like the easiest thing in the world.

“Yeah, I need you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another one.
> 
> NOT MUCH TO SAY ABOUT THIS ONE other than I had to throw in that callback to mgs3 even THOUGH Venom may not even remember Big Boss saying that (it's kind of vague how exactly the whole brain dump thing works and how thorough it is). Anyways eventually Kaz gets the satisfaction of figuring out the eminently-loatheable Huey was responsible for both of the things he was so upset about but, I think even then he'd still partially feel responsible for them because let's face it, this boy hates himself! He obviously feels so responsible to the staff and Snake that his well being is a fair tradeoff for, uh, anything. What's mental health? Here's another song from There's No 666 in Outer Space I was listening to a lot while working on this chapter but really just listen to the whole thing it's my personal MGSV concept album: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_m4Na8Lbl0
> 
> Next time we're hopping forward to post-TPP stuff yeehaw!!


	4. Chapter 4

“It’s fine, walk right in. _He_ never knocked either.”

“Kaz, the door was unlocked.” Venom closes the door behind himself and leans on it, keeping his distance from the man hunched over his desk. 

“So, what do you want? Your next mission is tomorrow morning, basic recon. Shouldn’t need much clarification.”

“Can’t I just talk to you?”

Kaz sets his his pen down, closing his fist without looking up.

“I have nothing to say to you.”

“At least look at me, if you’re going to say a thing like that.” Kaz hears heavy footsteps, creaking closer across the floor and stopping in front of his desk. Feels Venom’s good hand close over his as the man leans his weight on the desk. “Kaz, look at me.”

He doesn’t want to. Kaz knows, from the glances he’s managed since the revelation, that the deception is plainly obvious. The scars now seem like a half-hearted attempt to camouflage the alien softness of his features, distract from the distinct green tint of his eye. Even moreso, his tone and mannerisms stick out, more like a placid lake than a strong, unyielding current. It should have struck him immediately. Was he that desperate that he’d give all of himself, his trust, his skills, even his embarrassingly broken body, to a stranger? He’d even cried in front of the man, for god’s sake, something he never dared to do in front of Snake back then.

He remembers the feeling of being hefted over Venom’s shoulder, of his arm around him as he helped him down from the chopper, back onto their base. He had been that desperate. Almost reflexively he curls his hand into his body like it was caught on a burner, yanking it out from under Venom’s.

“Don’t touch me, don’t make me look at you.” Kaz hears Venom sigh, lean his weight back on his feet and take a few steps back. 

“You think this is any easier for--” He cuts himself off, rubbing a hand slowly across his chin. “I’m just… Sorry I’m not him, alright?”

Venom’s half expecting this to be the end of it, as he hesitantly heads for the door. They’d go on working like this indefinitely, awkwardly and at arm’s length, until one or the other outlives their use, and the invisible arm behind the whole operation moves them somewhere else. 

“Wait. Don’t apologize.” Kaz still hesitates to look up, but gestures at the spare chair next to his desk. V sits, still watching him closely. “Let's at least get one thing clear. What did he leave you with?”

“What do you mean?”

“How much do you remember now? Do you even know who you were?”

“You probably know better than I do.” Venom sighs, looking down to the floor between his knees.

“What?” Kaz feels a sickening lump rise in his throat. Ocelot had said the hypnosis trigger had been reversed by the tapes they’d recovered, allowing his own memory to fully return, but clearly this man, whoever he was, hadn’t returned to normal. To change his face, to permanently delete memories for the sake of uprooting him from his original identity, it wasn't just deceptive, but many degrees crueler. 

“I was MSF, the third man in the helicopter that went down… but that’s all I can come up with, for now. He mentions I was a doctor on the tapes we recovered, aside from some instinctive things I must have muscle memory of, I don’t even remember that.” He pauses before continuing, considering he may be asking too much, considering how unbearable the weight of disappointment here may be. “I know it’s probably not an easy thing for you to remember but,” He looks up now, taken aback to find Kaz finally looking at him, though he breaks away as their eyes meet. “You were there Kaz. If anyone would know, it’s you.”

It was true. Sometimes the memories leading up to the crash would come back too clearly, everything loud and hot, the smell of fire and blood everywhere, numbing anything else. Other times it felt like a void he could sink his hand into, and only come up with a handful of silt slipping through his fingers. He pulls off his sunglasses, setting them on the desk, and gently rubs his eyes. 

“Fine, come closer.”

Venom gets up, dragging the chair behind him, and sits across from Kaz on the other side of the desk. 

“I’m gonna need you even closer than that,” Kaz continues, with a slight bitter laugh. Venom leans forward hesitantly, keeping his hands in his lap since Kaz had responded so poorly to being touched moments before, but Kaz reaches across to grab his shoulder, pulling Venom’s arm up on to the desk so he can lean on his elbow. Kaz’s hand still rests lightly on his forearm as the XO squints his clouded eyes, searching for any clues that could remain on Venom Snake’s face.

Really looking at Venom, seeing the differences rather than ignoring them or trying to explain them away, is calming, for some reason. But whatever was done to his face has obscured any possible hints. Kaz thinks, maybe he’s going about this the wrong way. Think backwards. Who on staff was a doctor, around Big Boss’ age, a skilled man, a reliable man. Something resurfaces. The last thing he can remember before going under, as he was feeling the painkillers, anaesthetic and exhaustion all digging in their talons: “What about him?”

Venom glances down as he feels Kaz’s hand tighten on his forearm. 

“What is it?”

“Medic… you were, uh… just medic. One of our first recruits, before we formalized the animal codenames. Everyone already knew you as that, you’d patched all of us up at least once… so we never really bothered to change it. You were,” Kaz pauses, studying Venom’s face for the right words. “A calming presence. But a good drinking partner too.” Kaz feels himself smiling gently, the first time he’s been able to smile around Venom in what feels like ages. “Or am I totally off?”

“It’s hard to describe, but it feels right somehow,” Venom responds cautiously. “Maybe we’ll both remember more as time goes on, who knows?” 

“Right.” As soon as he seemed to relax though, Kaz goes cold again. “I really am going to kill him.”

V flinches at this, though he’s not surprised. Ocelot had already told Venom about how Kaz had taken the news initially, how he intended to formulate his own plan for revenge.

“Kaz--”

“Not only does he abandon what’s left of MSF, he forces one of his own men into this. Some sort of sick--”

“You don’t have to be angry on my behalf.” Venom is firm without raising his voice. “Just think of what you can do here. This was your dream, wasn’t it?” For a moment he worries he’ll lose Kaz again, see him slip back into the blind rage of the past few days that had him holed up in his office, alone. He turns his wrist gently, holding Kaz’s arm like he had his. “Stay with me Kaz, don’t let this eat you alive.” 

It’s a long silence. The sound of the sea and staff members greeting each other leak into the office through a half-open window. Kaz closes his eyes, lets out an enormously slow sigh, as if a giant weight was lowering onto his chest, and opens them again, meeting Venom’s with an uncompromising look.

“We’ll make this base stronger than he ever could have imagined. And we won’t do it his way. We decide.” Kaz runs his fingers down the inside of Venom’s wrist, slowly taking his hand and meshing their fingers together. The tenderness of the gesture is enough to raise the heat in Venom's cheeks. He leans into the gesture, his eyes wandering down to Kaz’s lips, but stops short. Kaz lets his eyes flutter shut, leaning harder into his forearms. 

V can feel the other man’s breath against his own lips when he asks, “Is this alright?”

“Yes.”

“Are you--”

“V, please.”

The kiss, what may be, really, their first kiss, is short, breathy, like passing air from one set of lungs to the other. Kaz feels V pull back, still looking unsure.

“It’s fine. More than fine. You’ve given me more than he ever did anyways.” 

He was right, this is for the future, Kaz thinks, as scarred lips press against his own again. Since the past is as good as dead.


	5. Chapter 5

A memory, from 1972:

 

“Medic!”

“Miller. What’s up?” Naturally, the man stood at attention as the XO approached, but Miller waved his hand at him, dismissing the formality.

“Come on, you of all people don’t have to…”

“It sets a bad example for the new recruits if the executive officer is already picking favorites,” He responded with a small smile, setting down the fresh pieces of lumber he was carrying to the shed they were adding to their humble base, tight sleeping quarters for six more men. “You have to start considering that now that things are picking up, right?”

“Right, but… I guess I’m asking you for help with a more personal issue, so it doesn’t really matter, right?”

“Ok, hit me.”

“I feel like I haven’t been getting through so well to the ladies around here, you know?” Kaz blushed slightly, rubbing his chin.

“Well, have you been practicing your español?” They both laughed a bit, Kaz far more nervously.

“Um, sí, sure but…” He paused for a moment, trying to formulate his thoughts in the other man’s native tongue before quickly giving up.  “Most of the stuff I’ve picked up on is purely functional, you know? Stuff for ordering guys like you around. Not exactly the right tone.”

“Mm. So what do you want to say then?”

“Well, you know me. I usually try to be pretty… direct. Something, you know, like ‘nice ass’ or whatever.”

“Well, that’s… buen culo, I guess, but I don’t think you should--”

“Buen culo,” Kaz repeated, leaning in and sliding his sunglasses down his nose for a moment, allowing the other man to catch a glimpse of his eyes, an usual golden-hazel. “How was that?”

“It’s fine, your pronunciation isn’t too bad but, like I was saying, I dunno if that’ll work out for you too well.”

“Really?” Kaz frowned, obviously having to reconsider his entire strategy. “You’re the expert I guess… What would you say?”

The medic sighed, let his gaze drift over Kaz’s shoulder for a second as he thought for a moment, but then looked to the man standing in front of him again.

“Tienes unos ojos muy hermosos.”

Kaz’s eyebrows shot up. “Wow, the way you said it… Sounds nice. What’s it mean?”

“Just... you have beautiful eyes.”

“Great, subtle! Some girls like that.” Kaz was back to thoughtfully rubbing his chin, smiling broadly. “Well, color me impressed, you’ve given me a few good options.”

Medic watched him walk off, unable to suppress a small smile. He huffed gently before turning back to the boards he was working with.

“Qué tonto.”

  
  
  


Kaz is trying to brush up on his Spanish, even though it’s over a decade out of practice. Venom is a patient teacher, and in the process snatches of melodies from his childhood come bubbling to the surface. Kaz wants more than anything to sing along, but decides to spare everyone the pain and accepts a prosthetic arm instead, so he can accompany on guitar. Whenever they can, they spend late nights in one or the other’s room, drinking good coffee, carrying on. Usually any attempts at a focused practice session devolve into making out, grinning at each other whenever they manage to pull their faces apart, both wondering how they’ve managed to pull this life off.

Of course, the margins are always narrow. There’s always crises, losses, close calls. But the new mother base, their Outer Heaven, is growing, amassing resources steadily. The only thing that becomes noticeably different is Ocelot’s increasingly lengthy absences from base.

“Probably just some of his usual Russian bullshit,” Kaz says, trying to shrug it off. “He couldn’t work for just one person to save his life.”

Once Kaz gains confidence with his new limb (and the guitar practice does help), he goes back to what he was doing up until his capture, freelance survival training for special forces units. It seems his absence from the scene for a few years has only made his teaching more in-demand. There’s an early, almost suspiciously lucrative in with the Green Berets, but Kaz takes it anyways. He’s heard rumors that Big Boss’ other son has ended up in the US Army, predictable, if slightly depressing, and this seems like a good way to put out some feelers, in hopes of keeping tabs on the boy. There’s a few whispers of a promising new recruit but primarily, the special training contracts bring in cash and give Kaz a new reason to feel useful even though it takes him away from base for a few weeks out of the year. It’s good to get away from years of straight balancing the books and sifting through intel during all daylight hours, he thinks. Some days he can say he doesn’t feel the tight coil that crawls between his chest and stomach, the cold knot that’s the part of him which still dreams of revenge.

They’re on a longer leash. A leash long enough that maybe, some days, they forget about it during those years. But in the end there’s still the matter of the hand it leads back to. First the plans for a land base near Galzburg come down through Ocelot. An order from the one who’s watching. Then, like an abandoned dog, a certain Dr. Pettrovich Madnar and his young daughter are dropped off by helicopter, on a day pissing rain. Kaz says he seems as eccentric as Huey without the technical finesse to back it up. Ocelot is nonplussed by the observation.

“He’ll revive the bipedal weapons development. An order from the top.” His declaration sets a noticeable pall over the base. It seems like the question of nukes will inevitably follow.

Fortunately, development is predictably slow, but in the midst of these bumps the Diamond Dogs still develop a strong reputation. A band of highly trained staff who can respond and adapt to any type of mission you throw at them. Wonders like a whole hospital, a world class scientific lab, a wildlife sanctuary, all floating in the middle of the ocean. All of this held together by a genius analytical mind and an experienced commander, whose relationship is closer, more intuitive than mere business partners. Kaz secretly relishes hearing the rumors fly in US Army mess halls when he’s off-base, his identity as the very XO they’re speculating about completely concealed. He’s smugly soaking in the chatter, watching the kid he’d recently confirmed to be Big Boss’ son happily chatting and noshing on sloppy joes at a table of green berets when he notices someone is staring at _him_ , meeting Kaz’s eyes not with a smirk but with a bizarrely sincere smile.

It’s strange to see Big Boss, not in generic fatigues or the sneaking suit but instead in full US Military regalia, during what’s probably one of his first appearances in public since 1974. It seems like a blasphemy. Kaz picks up his tray, throwing the whole thing in the garbage as he makes a hasty exit back to his quarters. What else could he do in that situation, a stray dog in a room full of thoroughbreds wearing their rank?

“His hair’s gone all white, though. You’re at least ten times more handsome.” Kaz delivers his report between shallow panting, punctuating it with a groan as he presses his hips against Venom’s, hard. They had both kicked off their boots somewhere between Kaz’s door and the bed, Kaz proudly tackling the other man onto the larger mattress his position, as well as the bases’ increasing financial stability allowed. Venom grunts, a slight chuckle as he feels Kaz run his hands through his own hair, which had only gone slightly salt and pepper.

“God, you make me feel like a fucking teenager,” Kaz huffs as he feels Venom yanking down his sweatpants. “Just two weeks away and I feel like I’m going to go crazy.”

“Can’t say I’m 100% a fan of your new job,” Venom responds, roughly pulling Kaz flush against him for a kiss before rolling them both onto their sides, pulling away to take a look at Kaz, stripped down to just an undershirt and the straps that held his silvery prosthetic in place. “I get why you’d call me to bitch so much back then, getting to be the one left here is a drag.” Kaz grins, leaning in to delicately press their noses together.

“Sorry, boss.” Venom’s smirk softens. Kaz almost sounds as coy as he did during the MSF days, absorbing sarcastic barbs from Big Boss with his clever smile.

“Kaz, really,” Venom says, with a tinge of seriousness. “You seem so much happier. I'm glad.” He gently slides the sunglasses off his face and places them on the bedside table, a gesture that still manages to make Kaz blush slightly. He cradles Kaz’s face in both hands, pulling him into a deep kiss, sighing at the feeling of their tongues running against each other, of breathing the same warm air. Kaz reaches down to pull Venom closer, the harsh movements of his prosthetic joints pinching at his hips a bit, but Venom doesn’t complain. Kaz makes quick work of the trousers that were already hanging low on V’s hips, moving his good hand between them to press their cocks together.

“Nah.” V gives Kaz a slight push, rolling him onto his back. “Stay like that. I want to take you like this.” Kaz groans as V gets up to root through the dresser drawer for some lube, convinced he’d be perfectly satisfied with the alternative.

“God, just hurry up.”

Venom turns back around, his dick and good hand smeared in the stuff now.

“Nagging me now? You’ve hardly been back an hour from your little vacation.”

Kaz smiles at the teasing. “Come on, it’s a bit posh for my blood but it _is_ work.”

V pulls him by the leg to the edge of the bed, Kaz taking in a breath as he feels the man gently working his wetted fingers into him. He always feels slightly dizzy, almost lightheaded with want whenever Venom Snake is towering over him, and can’t help but start to moan. V brushes a few dull blonde hairs off of his face, stuck there by sweat.

“So loud already…”

“I told you! Come on, I want you on top of me.”

Venom obliges, letting his body lean heavily onto Kaz once he moves his fingers aside and presses into him up to the hilt. Kaz groans with the combined fullness and pressure, utterly satisfied. Venom gently begins moving his hips, starting to work the usual parade of filth out of Kaz’s mouth, his voice completely lost it’s affected gruff edge.

“Fuck… God, Boss, I can’t stand it… you feel fucking incredible.” The pressure and body heat from the man on top of him pushes him closer to the edge, holding him there until he’s whining with every movement. Venom shushes him playfully, working his slick fingers into Kaz’s mouth. Kaz teases the fingers with his tongue, earning a sly smile from Venom, until he abandons them with a moan that has him throwing his head back.

“V, please, just fucking touch me already.”

“Tch, such dirty language,” Venom teases, but gives Kaz what he wants. It just takes a bit of thumbing his tip in gentle circles in time with the rolling of his hips to push Kaz over the edge with a harsh groan, legs trembling on either sides of his thighs. Venom leans down to gently plant quick kisses in the crook of his neck as he finishes himself.

“I’m glad you’re home,” he murmurs, their faces inches apart as they’re both trying to catch their breath.

“Yeah, I could kind of tell.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah. You've got a great butt.
> 
>  
> 
> I'm so sorry about many things in this chapter A) the Spanish, which I mainly pulled together with my knowlegde of other romance languages and some online dictionaries. If there are better/more appropriate words or phrasings I will HAPPILY take corrections. B) The middle aged men being total fucking dorks while getting it on. LOUDLY HIDES UNDER A ROCK.
> 
> This chapter is a few things, one, some exposition on how Diamond Dogs/Outer Heaven is managed post-TPP and how the groundwork for the MG1 incident is laid (SORRY FOR FORGETTING THAT ARCHIVE WARNING TAG UNTIL NOW GUYS LOL!!!), two, some banging to make up for the gratuitous exposition, and three, a nod to Kawaiibooker's great headcanon of an Uruguayan Medic, which is elaborated on in their great fics found here: http://archiveofourown.org/series/373112 IT WAS LIFE CHANGING.
> 
> Anyways thanks for reading!!!! You all are great and your comments are really kind ;~;


	6. Chapter 6

Fox wouldn’t lie, would he? Because, looking at the supposed “nuclear equipped tank” that slept in the basement of Outer Heaven, Snake can’t bring himself to believe that his respected superior could be so _stupid_. It should have been obvious this so-called “Metal Gear” is hardly a threat to the global order, and isn’t equipped with nukes, though the dummy missiles loaded into the launchers could maybe seem intimidating in a blurry photo. The thing looks like it’s made of an assortment of scavenged parts, and frankly, it would be surprising if the legs moved without emitting a painful screech that shook the entire thing apart. Still, dutifully Snake rigs the legs with explosions, dodging the unnervingly basic security measures with ease, and then sends the thing crumpling to the floor, completing its seemingly inevitable journey back to being a pile of junk.

There’s a few strange seconds of peaceful stillness after the dust settles. Snake feels himself thinking as David again, wondering what the other soldiers on his team are up to, what they did in Master Miller’s special survival course today. He’d been really disappointed to miss it. _Mission complete, I guess_ , he thinks, but his breath still feels labored, his hands slightly clammy and heart pounding at his ribs. Something feels so… off.

Snake dials back his radio to the original frequency, rather than the one Big Boss had seemed to be feeding bad intel through. Unsure of what exactly to say, mind going blank, he only manages to get out, “Boss, this is Solid Snake. The Metal Gear is destroyed, what should I--”

“Snake?” An unfamiliar voice responds almost instantly. “Great job! I’ll dispatch the chopper.”

“What? Who is this?”

“Oh.. uh, sorry sir!” The voice responds nervously, suddenly taking on a much more formal tone. “I’m just one of the radio operators. Big Boss left a few hours ago.”

“Really? He didn’t have to switch frequencies, or…”

“No… It’s kind of strange with a mission in progress but I guess you should take it as a compliment. He could tell it wouldn’t be any trouble for you!”

“Yeah… just get that chopper here, alright?” Snake cuts off the radio link and suddenly feels nauseous. If Big Boss had left, where had the other frequency been coming from? Apparently not the comms room at FOXHOUND, or the operator would have known about it. And there’s the fact that all the information had ended up being inaccurate…

There’s no time to think about it. A siren jolts Snake back to attention, and he remembers Schneider’s transmission warning about the boss of Outer Heaven. He hadn’t run into anyone who met such a description description, so the leader of the base must still be lurking, hiding out somewhere. Now it seems he’d flipped the self-destruct switch, hoping to make an easy escape and take Snake down with the rest of the base. A coward’s way out, Snake grumbles to himself. No choice but to put his head down and backtrack his way out of here.

  
  


“Excuse me, Master Miller? Call for you.”

Miller turns around, a his face stuck in a slightly unnerving sadistic grin as the troops in front of him wince their way through cleaning and eating a variety of local wildlife. What could he say? It’s good to be back at his old job, he gets a kick out of making some of them squirm, but even moreso he appreciates the students who enthusiastically absorb each lesson. Unfortunately, David was out on a special assignment today.

“Yeah? I’ll be right there.” He turns to give one more order to the struggling soldiers. “By the time I get back I want you all to be ready to give me a taste, alright? I don’t want to be choking on any scales or bones, you hear?”

“Yes, sir!”

Miller slides the door of the private phone booth shut behind him and picks up the receiver, voice beaming with confidence for once.

“Hello?”

“Kaz, it’s me.”

His heart skips a beat. Venom sounds a bit haggard, but even then hearing his voice after almost two weeks apart is an unexpected pleasure. Kaz warmly leans the receiver into his shoulder, relaxed and happy.

“Hey, you. I’m still hard at work here, remember? Or did you miss me that much?”

“Kaz, I’m sorry…” In the long pause that follows V’s exhausted voice, Kaz’s ears prick up to sound of sirens and gunshots in the background.

“What’s going on?” Suddenly it’s hard to say anything at all, his chest tightening with fear.

“I got a call. He knows.”

“What do you mean?”

“Kaz, he knows we’ve not actually been developing the Metal Gear. He said… Since he can’t use my loyalty anymore, it’s time for him to ‘ _disappear’_ again.”

“V! You can’t! Just get out of there!” Kaz feels dizzy, like he’s falling through space, the only anchoring point where his hand is strangling the life out of the phone. “We can go hide out, figure out something…”

“I’m not putting you in harm’s way like that Kaz, don’t do anything stupid! You knew all along this was what my role was.”

“I thought we were fighting so that we wouldn’t have to--”

“We flew too close to the sun, or maybe we were just idiots running at windmills in the first place… Kaz, it was beautiful while it lasted. Given the circumstances I think we made a pretty good life for ourselves... I don’t have any regrets.”

“Don’t… please don’t talk like that! That siren’s the self-destruct system, right? It takes a few minutes, you could still--”

A slamming noise cuts Kaz off. At first he’s sure that V has hung up, but the sirens in the background keep going. And then, a familiar voice.

“You?! What the hell?”

“David--!” V barely hears Kaz’s choked gasp in response but knows, the kid who’s just busted through the door is his golden boy, the student who’s the closest thing he’s had to a son.

“Take care of him when he gets back.” V says quietly. He waits a moment, unable to hear any reaction from Kaz before hanging up the phone. He turns to Solid Snake, the man who had just burst through the door. Snake holds him at gunpoint, but V can tell, even from a few yards away, his aim is wavering.

“David, I’m sorry. You know too much.”

“Are you really--?”

“Yeah, I’m Big Boss.”

  
  


Miller decides to meet David at the helipad that brings him in, even though it’s probably a bad idea. The landing zone doesn’t yet have a panicked pall to it, after all, it’s just a talented young soldier returning from a successful op. Only Master Miller, and possibly the helicopter pilot, would have any idea that something was off. Miller is swaying on his cane slightly in the wind, a tool he hasn’t used for months now, but he feels nauseous, partly from nerves but also from the drink he'd downed back in his office, trying to keep up the facade of stony, clueless mentor. He clenches his teeth, allowing himself to groan as the helicopter comes close, sound of the blades camouflaging it. The gale of a landing chopper, a sensation he’s become so used to over the years, now feels like freezing blades of wind,making him tremble.

The helicopter touches down, but David doesn’t hop out immediately. There’s a slight murmur in the awkward lull before he slowly comes into view, dropping one foot and then another to the ground, batting away a helping hand before lifting himself fully upright. He scans the small crowd gathering, making a beeline to Miller as soon as their eyes meet.

Kaz winces. At least the kid had the decency to change fatigues, but there’s still thick streaks of brown grime and crimson across his forehead and his face. Is it V’s blood or his own? Both options make his chest feel tight. David stands completely still in front of him, mouth an affected strong line, eyes absent.

“David--”

The kid clenches his fist, voice uncharacteristically helpless. “Master, I didn’t have a choice.”

Kaz grunts, the bottom dropping out on his stomach, but he inhales quickly through his nose, trying to hold himself together as a few of the technicians and assistants milling about notice something is very wrong.

“What are you talking about?” Kaz’s voice is barely a whisper.

David softens his voice as well, grasping that the situation was not yet common knowledge. “He was there. I had to kill him. It… It was me getting out or both of us burning in there.”

Burning. Images flash through his mind, of caskets burning, of being wrapped in the embrace of a man who still smelled like ashes. Of watching his base burning, then falling into the sea. A film of cold sweat seems to break out on his body all at once. He’s sure he’s going to be sick.

“You’re sure it was him? Could have been exhaustion, a trick…”

“He called me David… he said.. he was sorry for everything.” Kaz feels his vision blur at the edges. “Why would he… who else could it have been but--” David’s eyes are hollow, he hard set of his mouth failing, trembling. His voice keys up suddenly, drawing everyone’s attention. “It doesn’t make sense! Why?”

Kaz claps on his shoulder firmly, a warning that could look like a friendly gesture to anyone else nearby. David gets the message and goes silent, trying to force his breathing to go steady.

“Get him to crisis intervention,” Kaz mutters to the nearest staff member, the order coming out weak, soft. When it only earns him a blank stare, he repeats himself. “Did you hear me? Crisis intervention, now.” His voice cracks from the sudden strain. Humiliating. David doesn’t respond when the confused staff member leads him away by the arm, and Kaz makes a hasty retreat from the helipad, making a quick detour to tell the head instructor to dismiss his sessions for the rest of the day before returning to the room that had been lent to him and locking the door.

His vision seems to white out, go cloudy at the corners and his mind thankfully empties of everything except the impulse to drag himself to the bathroom as quickly as possible. After a few minutes of his body being shaken with indistinguishable wretches and sobs, Kaz manages to pull himself upright, splash his face and mouth with cold water at the sink, and return to where the whiskey bottle remains open on the desk, sinking into the plush hardwood chair. He takes a deep, burning swig, not bothering with a glass, and then rests his face in his hands, trying to steady himself.

He’d have to go apologize to David for how he handled this, as soon as he could manage. After all, this is what he’d signed up for, right? From the moment he’d been saved, when V held his gaze as he lowered him to the gurney.

_For the future._

Of course Venom wouldn’t have run away like a coward, hiding out somewhere and letting Big Boss do as he pleased. Either they’d both be found killed, or get to watch from afar as he brought the world to its knees with an unmatchable nuclear arsenal.

This was the only way forward. His elbows slid to the side, gradually letting his head come to rest on the cool wood of the desk. He can almost feel a warm hand, resting on his phantom limb as though it were real, but he doesn’t stir. He knows he locked the door, and it’s just an illusion, like how you sometimes feel like you’re falling when you’re about to drift off to sleep… Yes, as soon as he got a nap in, he’d go check on David...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANKS FOR READING!!! And... I'm so sorry!!! I wanna only write cute stuff after finishing this...
> 
> Sorry this last chapter took so long and thanks for sticking with me if you started reading when I first started posting it! The last one was the hardest to write in terms of the subject matter and making sure it met MG lore, but I ended up as satisfied as one can be with it. I did my best to make the whole thing somehow canon compliant and fill in the gaps in the story, as well as make the ending of MGSV make sense in light of the other games lol....
> 
> The fact that Kaz is Japanese but thinks they need a nuke to survive as MSF was always interesting to me, I think it's a combination of both fear and wanting power, especially in light of how differently he reacts to complete disarmament in the secret MGSV cutscene. I like that as a character he has a really ambiguous relationship to both militarism and pacifism, (as well as capitalism/socialism, lol) that plays into the series' larger themes of the complexity of nuclear deterrence as a concept............ anyways im ramblin.... I'm just a humble Kaz stan tending to my headcanon crops.....
> 
> Again thanks for reading my stuff and if you want to hang out I'm coleoptera-kinbote on tumblr :>
> 
> This is the song I mostly listened to while coming up with the last chapter ;~; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oxcf7Q4BOus


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